Crashing: Stuck on the Wheel

So full of ill will
And aversion,
But I feel
I’m repeating myself here,

Rolling over and over
Like an alligator
Grasping and throttling
Its prey,

Or thrashing about
Like a bull
Caught in the
Gator’s grip,

Irrevocably locked together
In a desperate struggle
To eat or
To avoid being eaten;

And so, I too
Pursue the water wheel around,
Up and down,
Foaming up the waters,

I can’t seem to stop,
But keep coming back
To this,
Over and over again;

What restlessness
Is driving me
So insistently, persistently
And to what end?

Where will it take me?
Or, is it to be merely
An incessant repetition,
For as long as
This being is?

Covering: Another Step

Interesting developments,
Or not,
Can’t tell which way
The wind is blowing,

Efforts to stay present
Not very successful,
But trying to learn
From this experience;

Looking ahead,
Is way too tiring,
Hence my attempt
Is to let go,

To relax into
Familiar activities,
Resting in each task,
Staying with it:

This task
Is the only task,
This goal
The only goal,

And then
Onto
The next one,
And on,

Steady on
For as long
As I can
Maintain the pace,

But no race,
No rush,
Just one step
Followed by another.

Coverage: On Going

Second thoughts
Plague me,
Logic sways me,
Intuition weighs on me;

Oh, what a lot
Of “me”ing;
Time to remind:
It’s not me, not mine.

Then interest and curiosity
Moderate aversion,
Practicality reduces
The urge to flee into the unknown,

Or is the unknown
Still here,
In front of me?
Most likely.

Steeped in delusion
Too, I’d guess,
Will the fog
Ever clear?

And when it does
What will be there?
How’s that
For suspense?

So intense,
So full of energy,
Considering
How exhausted.

Enough speculation!
Time to do laundry,
And prepare for bed,
Goodnight,
And metta to all.