Clouded: Shaken up and Stirred

Meditation started well,
Ended up with
Rage, rage,
And rage continued.

Slid into frustration
Flavoured with fatigue,
And a desire to escape from
Everything present,

Plus longing for
Unconsciousness, not to be here;
Even after meditation,
The nightmare persisted,

Unpleasant, unpleasant,
Anguish, grief and sadness.
When am I going to
See the heart of this?

When do I get to
The end of it,
Put a stop to it (if I can),
When?

Intense emotional upwelling
And outbursts recurring
Not sure why so
Critical of what’s here.

Disliking, reactive thoughts:
‘I could have taken a nap
If I did not have to
Be on call all the time.’

Judging, believing that,
Followed by anger.
Shaken up and stirred,
What a palaver!