Last time, I wrote about the mixed results I obtained when I attempted to apply the instructions supplied for loving-kindness meditation by Jack Kornfield, in his audio book, Beginner’s Guide to Buddhism. It helped to some extent with my anxiety but paradoxically the resulting muscle relaxation actually increased my awareness of the pain caused by my Fibromyaligia.
One thing I learned from this, however, is that it is possible to change one’s attitude towards others and the world in general. By this I mean that contrary to what I had formerly believed—that what you feel is what you feel—you can cultivate certain feelings and attitudes, especially compassion towards yourself and others. This is certainly better than judging everything all the time, which many of us tend to do, and I did experience an overall increase in well being, at least on the days when the pain lessened.
Interestingly, this practice is recommended as an antidote to ill will (excessive anger, resentment, hatred and bitterness), and I would certainly concur that if you experience ill will (which many people who have a lot of pain or other kinds of distress do) this practice may help you. Not that you should let people put you down, but practicing compassion may help you to see the other fellow/gal’s point of view, which may help you resolve your conflicts in a more effective and mutually beneficial way.
Encouraged by my, albeit limited, success, I therefore kept looking for other practices that could help, as I still needed something, and these sorts of practices did at least appear promising. I was not, however, prepared for what happened next.
Thinking back upon what I had studied so far, I had always meant to look for information on Tara, the Buddha of compassionate wisdom. M. D. Eckel mentioned her in his lecture series on Buddhism (which I cited earlier), and I had been curious about her then, since, so far, I had encountered almost no mention of women’s role in Buddhism. There seemed to be lots of male Buddhas and famous male teachers/masters, etc., but almost no female ones.
When I looked up Tara on the Internet, however, my own reaction astonished me.
“I’ve found you at last!” I exclaimed. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere!!!”
WHAT was this about and WHERE did it come from? Even I did not know.
Next time: out of my mind?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
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