Establishment: Repetition

Last day of November,
Where’s the year gone?
It’s still there,
Right where we left it.

I cooked enough food
For two days
But feel like
Eating the whole thing!

Must be a cold winter
On the way,
If that’s
What’s happening;

Food, food,
It always
Comes back
To food,

I watched
As I got involved
In cooking,
Mindfully attentive

And then,
When eating,
Forgot
All about it,

What fun,
Getting involved
And forgetting
And remembering again;

I’m not sure
What it means
Or what use
To which if can be put
But at least it’s enjoyable, anyway.

Established: Beginner’s Mind

Maybe we don’t need to know
Where HERE is
And we just need to
Start from this place,
Whatever or wherever that is.

What then is this meditation?
To just sit and experience here,
Just as it is,
Without comment?

But we do this
All the time
And so
Maybe that’s all we need to do,

What we’ve always done
But did not realize
We were doing
All the time;

But how
Can we DO that?
Or maybe
That’s the wrong question,

Perhaps,
The question is,
How can we
Not do that?

If we do it
All the time,
Then there’s no need
To try or not try;

We just do it,
Without asking
How or why,
No business, no fuss.

Establish: Garbage in, Garbage Out

There’s nothing to be attained and there’s no one here to attain it,
Or so I’ve heard.

But then, who is typing this?

Nobody is typing this.
In fact, there is no typing either.
But what does this mean?
UNKNOWN.

How then do you stop clinging?
YOU can’t.
Because, there’s no YOU to cling,
No YOU to stop clinging,
No clinging and no not clinging.

It’s all a dream
And there’s nothing outside the dream,
As the dream is no different from what there is.
But what is the nature of this dream/what there is?
UNKNOWN.

SYSTEM MEMORY INSUFFICIENT
THIS PROGRAM HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION AND WILL BE SHUT DOWN.
SYSTEM CRASH
MEMORY PURGED
SYSTEM RESTART
IGNORANCE IS BLISS,
FOLLOWED BY
SUFFERING,
FOLLOWED BY
THERE IS SUFFERING
BUT WHO IS SUFFERING?
NOBODY.
REALIZATION.
CESSATION OF SUFFERING.
DATA ENDS.

But if I want to eat now,
I still have to make supper!

Essentially: To-Do List

What’s on?
Rain today,
A regular drizzle,
That finally fizzled out,

Lifting spirits
And freshening the air,
Cooler breezes
Coming in this week I hear,

Winter snow
Cannot be far behind,
Festive season
Coming on soon,

Not much more to do,
No shopping spree
Planned for this year,
At least, not so far,

Thoughts of loved ones
Who have turned away
But mostly so long ago,
There’s little remaining dismay,

Instead, focused on
Bringing comfort where I can,
To those still struggling
With abandonment,

Giving rise to compassion,
Resolving to arose abundant energy
For the task,
To make the effort last,

Forsaking any ghosts that may arise from the past,
Turning attention towards
The work ahead
And concentrating on that instead.

Essential: Compassion

All is all
And yet,
This is
Not often seen

And then,
Compassion arose,
For all the blindness
And all the suffering that causes

But wait,
If this indivisibility
Is the way it is,
Then what’s the problem?

There is compassion
Because of this
Lack of separation,
As all is all one being,

One being,
Which cares,
As each of us
Cares about ourselves,

What could be more natural
Than for such
To be so
For all towards all?

Even though such separation,
Such conflicts as are seen
And such suffering
Are only at the surface,

Still,
There is suffering
And there is compassion felt
Towards this suffering.

Essence: Reconciliation

What a peculiar interlude,
As boundaries dissolved
And I felt the indivisibility
Of all

But then later,
Hatred burst forth
And I brought mindfulness to it,
Or so I thought,

For as I finished
And got up,
The oddest feeling overcame me,
That I’d been deeply deluded,

It was as if,
I’d been someone else,
Some alien being,
Totally foreign,

Shocked and dismayed
I turned away
From this unpleasant experience,
Rejecting it,

Then later,
When feeling more connected
And having time to
Concentrate,

Turned inwards
Once again
And there it was,
This intense ill will,

What to do?
I considered,
Then held it with compassion,
Spreading joy and happiness throughout.

Espy: Looking at Looking

Dead ending
After much thought,
Not sure where I’m at
Or where I ought to be,

Looking outward,
Looking inward,
Seeing no difference
Or seeing darkness all around,

One minute
Caught up in fantasy,
Next minute
Very realistic,

Looking ahead
And looking behind,
Not seeing much
Through the decades of grime,

Washing the mirror
And looking again,
Seeing the reflection
But not recognizing it,

Can’t believe it
And yet I can,
How did I get here?
Maybe a stupid question,

Making a snack
And getting ready for bed,
Thinking about thinking
Then forgetting it instead,

Up in the wee hours,
Is not good for me,
Delays my morning
And does not make me free.

Espouse: Delving into Impermanence

Impermanence
Is on my mind,
I see it clearly
Whenever I look deeply
Into whatever I find,

My clinging it unbinds,
As I clearly perceive
The pointlessness
Of grasping onto anything;

And too,
Even the experience of
Knowing impermanence
Is impermanent

But if there is a purpose,
It seems to me,
We’re here to know
The freedom of thoroughly knowing:

Suffering
And it’s causes,
Cessation of clinging
And the path to that end,

That all the pleasures
And the pains
Of this world,
Are impermanent,

When one discerns this completely,
This is
The good news of
The Buddha Dhamma,

To discover this
And discern it fully
Is to be wide open to
The truth of the end of suffering.

Espousal: Befriending the Body

Turning towards
The body,
Noticing pain
And considering what to do,

Turning attention to
The low back discomfort,
Settling in with that
And feeling the warmth increase,

Comfort flows
From the attention,
Relaxing the muscles
And bringing relief,

Back of the shoulders
Burns and tenses,
Focusing on that
Feeling the breathing,

Seeing that place
A good location for
Mindfulness of breathing,
As well as soothing,

Stayed with that,
Feeling the vibrations
And expansion and contraction
As the breath moves through,

Mind settling into
Knowing the breath motion
From this vantage point,
Steady and strong,

The breathing continues,
The attention is solid,
Held in place,
With a pleasant embrace.

Equivocal: Uncertainty

Awakened in
The middle
Of the night
By the sniffles

And still later,
By a noisy dream
Or was it real?
I could not discern,

Runny nose,
Unmotivated, tired,
Later concluded
Was a sinus cold,

Lethargy,
Uncertainty and doubt,
Punctuated by amusing insightful interludes
And more mystification,

Not sure
Where this is going
But eventually
Will reach some conclusion,

Unreliability
Of experience
On my mind,
Wondering,

Upon what then
Do I base
My conclusions?
Bafflement,

As I try to
Figure that one out,
Pausing only to sneeze three times
And blow my nose.

Equation: Seeing Through Doubt

In doubt,
I concluded,
‘No one is trustworthy,
No one is reliable’

And asked,
‘Is there anything
‘Trustworthy?
Anything reliable?

NO!
Nothing is trustworthy,
Nothing is reliable,
Nothing is permanent neither.’

And then,
At once
I fell into
Despair

But then
I realized,
If nothing is trustworthy, reliable
Or permanent neither, then

Despair too
Is untrustworthy,
Despair is unreliable,
Despair is impermanent

And as this sank in,
Very slowly
A smile
Appeared,

For if
Despair too is
Untrustworthy, unreliable and impermanent,
Then it’s not a problem.

Equanimity: Trading Frustration for Insight

I am so frustrated,
So very frustrated
But
What of the Buddha?

Even the Buddha
For all his powers
Could not stop
People from being people;

He could not stop
Reality from being reality,
Nor stop anyone
From falling into darkness,

All he could do was
Show people a possible way,
A way to get out
But he could not free anybody,

How frustrating,
How frustrating!
How relevant
To my situation,

I want to help people
But the obstacles
Seem so insurmountable
At times,

Greed gets in the way
Ignorance gets in the way
Ill will gets in the way
And all the consequences of these get in the way,

How like
The Buddha’s predicament,
For even with all he had going for him,
Even he could not change this.

Equable: Practice Rejuvenated

Bringing comfort
To a mind
That’s had
Better days,

More years behind
Than ahead,
Is a theme
That’s been coming up

And so,
All the more
Important that
Practice be more active;

And as the days
Grow shorter,
The practice time
Grows longer,

Reflection too
And contemplation,
As well as reading through
The Suttas in translation,

Finding
Much to consider
And methods
To apply

But mostly
Right effort
Is the technique upon which
I rely,

After spreading
Good feelings
Throughout the mind/body,
I watch to see what arises
And respond as skillfully as I can.

Epic: The Unending Search

Joyfully seeking,
No boundaries,
No grasping,
Only expansion of attention,

For I know not
What I’m seeking,
No solution
Is apparent,

Could it be
This is the destination:
To just keep looking,
Never finding,

For,
When I find,
I find no satisfaction,
Or merely cling

But when I seek,
Not knowing
What the answer
May be,

Never stopping,
Never settling down,
Nowhere to sit,
Nowhere to stand,

Looking all ways,
All at once,
Waiting
For a response,

Everything
Is wide open
And I just
Feel free.

Envisage: Expanding the Search

Feeling drained
Yet full,
Like a waterfall,
The water constantly pours away
But the waterfall never empties,

Cascading down the mountainside,
Always at home
But in no place does it abide,
As it’s never the same,

Far and wide
They praise its power and beauty
But it knows nothing
Of these, nor any name,

The sound it makes
Can be heard for miles
But it knows not
Of hearing,

It shouts out,
“Emptyness!”
Although it has
No voice,

And only those
With ears
And open minds
Can hear its message,

How precious
The sound is,
So beneficial,
So restful

And yet,
The seeker
Must continue seeking,
Never resting, not even for one moment!

Enveloped: Busy

Running behind,
After taking it
Too easy
It seems,

Now,
Trying to get
Some focus
In my practice

But having
No luck,
Really feeling stuck
And not sure where to go,

Sometimes
Feeling like
I’d like to quit
But what to do instead?

Do I need
To do anything?
Or
Just get on with it,

Many tasks
Needing my attention,
Too many to mention
And yet, what’s needed?

Are they really
That important?
Or
Am I just making this up?

It’s not too clear
But I have no time now
To figure it out,
And so, I shall get up
And get to work.

Entrusting: Letting Go Into Action

Decisions, decisions,
So many choices
And directions
I could take,

Indecisive and confused
But full of energy
And so applied it
To daily tasks,

Much accomplished
And satisfaction obtained,
Then back to considering
What next to prepare for,

Turning inward,
Reflecting on practice,
Where is that going?
And where do I want to go with that?

What is enough?
What has been left out?
So many questions,
So many possible answers,

The mind is busy
And yet at rest,
Thinking, evaluating,
Imagining and figuring

But comfortable for now,
Following it’s own way
Enjoying a quiet evening
Of chores and audio Dharma talks,

Looking forward to tomorrow already
And yet preparing for bed,
Easing into a lower gear,
And feeling like
Enough has been said.

Entrenched: Deeply Engaged

Wild ride,
Coming home
To here
And setting off to shop,

Getting groceries
With gusto,
Not wanting
To stop!

Having
A wonderful time,
Being
And not being,

Remembering
And forgetting,
Feeling energy overflowing,
Rushing fully and deeply,

Not feeling sleepy
But zestfully present,
Not minding anything,
Not even opposition,

Fearlessly facing forward
And marveling at
The miracle
Of existence,

This life too short
But what’s it like?
Delicious!
When seen from a certain way

And what is that?
I couldn’t say
But I carry on enjoying it,
On, and on.

Entrapment: Stuck

Feeling sluggish,
Like nothing matters,
Under water,
Blowing bubbles;

Trying to get engaged,
Seeking the means
But discovering nothing
Except pipe dreams;

Disappointments
Keep piling up,
As if daily living
Wasn’t enough!

Struggling to get going
And falling back,
Trying again
But making no gains,

One minute it’s okay
And the next it’s a big deal,
Changing so fast
It makes me reel,

Running around
The hamster wheel
But at least it’s good exercise,
Even if it has no appeal!

Not making progress,
Except to yield
To the whole situation
And wait with patience,

As pretty soon
The picture will change
And then a new direction
Will emerge.

Entrance: Dukkha

If we base our happiness upon,
Whether we are rich or poor,
Happy or sad,
Or angry or at peace
Then we suffer!

If we base our happiness upon,
Whether or not we
Get what we want,
Or whether or not
The current conditions
Of our lives
Are to our liking,
Then we suffer!

If we base our happiness upon,
Whether it’s sunny or cloudy,
Hot or cold,
Wet or dry,
Then we suffer,

If we base our happiness upon
Whether we are
Healthy or sick,
Being born or dying,
Then we suffer,

If we base our happiness upon
Whether we are alone
All the time,
Or have many friends,
Who rally round us
Whenever we are in trouble,
Then we suffer!

And do we base our happiness upon
All of these
And more?
You bet we do!
And so, we suffer!

Entity: Doubt Flow

Doubt persists,
Leaking out all over,
Manifesting itself
In many different ways,

How to relate to that?
I peer steadily
At this drip, drip, drip,
Increasing to a trickle

And then I take a sip,
Tasting it carefully
And watching the result
As the bitter liquid slides down my throat,

Not so bad
If swallowed in one gulp,
Although it gets stuck
About halfway down,

Making a lump
That’s difficult to digest,
And then gradually resolving
Into a sticky mess,

I wait patiently
To see what happens next
But the mass just sits there
And refuses to budge,

‘Oh well,’ I think,
‘I will continue
To meditate
For the happiness it brings,

That at least is something
To look forward too,
Although to what this may lead
I am not so sure.’

Entirety: Lessons of the Heart

Going forward
I keep returning
To the heart’s eye view
Of what there is,

I ask my questions
And find therein
All the answers
I’ve sought so long

But what is the heart?
I haven’t the faintest notion,
How strange to trust the unknown
And then doubt resurfaced again

And so,
I face that hindrance
Once more,
Looking into it,

No easy answers
Do I find,
To climb out from under
This obstacle again

And so the search
Continues anew,
For remedies to combat
Mara’s motley crew,

To dispel, erase,
Be present for
And/or see into,
This unwelcome embrace,

This is my task
For as long as it takes;
But with the heart as ally
I will not fail
And in the end (if there be one) will prevail.

Entirely: Back to the Heart

So bogged down and gummed up,
Engrossed in insoluble problems
And wrestling with them
Until the ground shook,

The way seemed
Completely blocked
And I felt so despondent and stuck
With no means to get through or get up,

Sinking fast
And with no rescuer in sight,
Nor even a tree branch
Upon which to latch,

Doubt piled upon doubt,
Confusion on confusion,
Fully steeped in delusion
And ruinous rumination,

So concentrated on
Seeking answers or solace
That all else seemed pointless
And my attention locked onto the searching,

Peering deeply into
The source of the suffering,
Seeing nothing except seeing,
Waiting for what?

Then finally came
A route to follow,
As Ajahn Chah’s suggestion
Came back to me,

Namely that
Of reading
The book
Of the heart
And there at last, I found peace.

Entire: Turn Around

Rage foamed up
But this time
I saw the futility
Of this folly,

Reminded myself
That this does no good,
And indeed
Is quite unhelpful to the mind and body

And then,
I asked myself
What I could do
To relate to this more skillfully;

The answer on this occasion
Was
To get up
And do my yoga routine

Designed for pain management and good health
And repeated throughout the day,
Moving all my joints
And tuning up the spine;

By performing this routine
I forget the rage
And replaced it with
Vitality and happiness;

Right effort here
Transformed an emerging negative mood
Before it grew to an unmanageable size,
And swallowed up all awareness,

Illustrating how
With a little mindfulness
And exertion
One can turn around.

Enthusiasm: Stirring

What is
The great
Mystery
Of life and death?

I would say,
It is
The same as
The mystery of

Waking up
In the morning
And
Getting out of bed,

Making breakfast
And
Heading off
To work,

How do
We do that?
And how do
We breathe?

And so,
In a great state
Of fatigue
I somehow get on with it,

How miraculous is that?
And so,
Somehow
Life goes on,

How incredible!
That
These activities
Go on, and on and on, unceasingly.

Enthralled: Making a Long Story Short

Yearning for inspiration
But receiving only consternation,
Reaching an impasse
And feeling pressed,

Flatter than a dime,
Way too much time
Wasted on nothing much,
Basic living and such,

Hours on the phone
Because of feeling lonesome,
Longing for good news
Or even a few clues!

Seeking some kind of balance
And a new way to use my talents,
Not finding a way,
Merely finding no way,

Maybe no way is best
And everyday miracles do the rest,
Seeing the mundane in the miracles,
The simple as more complicated than calculus;

Then it’s back to buying vegetables
And trying to make my handwriting legible,
Frightened by the ordinary
And unimpressed by the extraordinary,

Trying to see how they’re interlaced,
Getting lost
And wondering what that is
And marveling at being found,

Unable to make anything work
But would be boring if I knew what it was
That gets in the way,
There’d be no more games to play.

Entertainment: Not Sure

Not sure
What to say
As
The mind is quiet,

Not much
Going on,
The word factory
Is silent,

And then,
Just then,
Although I didn’t notice,
It started up again.

But now
Is just now
And
That’s all there is to it;

I can’t see through it
And I can’t get rid of it,
I’m a little fed up with it
And yet, still with it,

Life comes and goes,
And I’m content
To sit with it,
Relaxed and attentive,

Enjoying the view,
Although it’s misty,
A translucent fog
Having come up,

Not sure
What that’s about
Or what it is,
Or what’s the difference.

Entertain: Now is My Only Home

My home is now,
It’s the only place
I’ve ever been
And the only place
I will ever be,

There can be
No other location,
Never was
And never will be,

Whatever is
Happening,
Is what’s always
Been happening,

Whatever I see
Is what
I’ve always
Seen,

Whatever I think
Is what
I’ve always
Thought,

There is
No continuation,
Only
The continuity of now,

Even though
There is change,
There is no change,
As I’m always here;

I can be nowhere else
Even when
I don’t know it
And cannot see it.

Enterprising: Exploring Attachment

There are times
When it seems
Attachment is merely
One of the joys of life!

Grabbing
And letting go,
Just the rhythm
Of being,

Pleasure
In each,
And
Both at once,

The presence
Of clinging
Matters not,
Nor of letting go;

And sometimes
Both are present,
In complementary portions
That don’t dilute happiness at all!

But then still,
There are other times,
When this clinging
Is very painful indeed,

Then it can be
Very distracting
And difficult to endure,
Until at last it goes;

Then relief follows
But watch out!
For unwariness can lead to
Grabbing onto that relief
And suffering may follow.

Enterprises: Pausing and Moving On

Ah, where to go
From here,
There seems
To be some doubt,

The sky is
Wide open,
But my direction
Unclear,

Unlike
The Monarch butterfly,
Driven to fly south
By some instinct

I seem
To have to
Work out
My own path;

With so many
Options
For
Work to do,

I paused today,
After a long stretch
Of frenzied activity,
Leading up to a deadline

And now,
Looking forward,
The game
Starts again:

The endeavour of
Deciding
Which task
Is most important.