Doubtful: Seesaw

Feeling withdrawn,
Waiting for the dawn,
Feeling remote,
Everything seems so far away.

Sitting at my desk
Listening to sounds,
Fascinated with my uninvolvement,
This total detachment

Or is this non-attachment?
How can I tell?
Is there a particular sign?
Or do I just wait for a time?

Holding everything at bay,
So maybe it’s delusion,
In which case
Right now I’d rather not know.

I think I’ve decided
To take a break
From all this inner gazing,
Time to go to sleep

Or at least temporarily,
Until it becomes necessary
To dip a toe in the water
Once more;

Still the aggravation
And ongoing frustration,
Which probably conceal something
That I’m avoiding;

Oh well,
Now just enjoying
The feeling of being
Without probing into it.