Distinguishing: Looking for a Way Out

How to summarize?
So many different lives;
Not literally true
But not false either;

The colours may change
But the themes are basically similar,
Luckily I keep forgetting
Or maybe that’s the problem?

Either way, tired of repeating
But haven’t stopped,
Wonder whether ever will,
Is it possible I don’t want to?

Perhaps one day will find out,
Meanwhile practice patience,
Watch and wait
And cook more stew,

Diligently keeping a look out,
Along with the laundry loads
And work outs,
Can’t let up my search,

Frustratingly close
But unattainable;
Playing the game
That it’s just around the corner;

If I don’t chase
It doesn’t run,
So have to catch a glance by accident
Or not at all.