Doubting: Muddled Waters

Hey ho,
Which way to go?
Doodling along,
Not singing any song,

Just twiddling
And twanging,
Not rhyming,
Not making any sense at all,

Not taking anything seriously,
Too tired to fuss,
Letting the wash water slip
And watching it dribble playfully;

Hissing and sounding,
As it flows out the spout
And hits the metal sink
Bubbling and gurgling into the drain;

Gaily tap-dancing down the pipes
To join the larger waters
And swim out
To refill the lake;

Then merging
And re-emerging
In somebody else’s sink
Or bath or swimming pool,

Until once again
It escapes temporarily,
Only to be scooped up
By some intake pump.

What a life!
But the water never complains,
What’s its secret?
I too must learn.

Doubtful: Seesaw

Feeling withdrawn,
Waiting for the dawn,
Feeling remote,
Everything seems so far away.

Sitting at my desk
Listening to sounds,
Fascinated with my uninvolvement,
This total detachment

Or is this non-attachment?
How can I tell?
Is there a particular sign?
Or do I just wait for a time?

Holding everything at bay,
So maybe it’s delusion,
In which case
Right now I’d rather not know.

I think I’ve decided
To take a break
From all this inner gazing,
Time to go to sleep

Or at least temporarily,
Until it becomes necessary
To dip a toe in the water
Once more;

Still the aggravation
And ongoing frustration,
Which probably conceal something
That I’m avoiding;

Oh well,
Now just enjoying
The feeling of being
Without probing into it.

Doubt: Taking a Break*

Nasty Pain aback the legs,
Sciatica come to call,
The weather forecast predicts rain
But I already know it from the pain,

No trouble here understanding
How interconnected everything is,
As every twitch of nature’s rhythm
Makes its impact on this body’s state

With each passing weather system,
A new change,
Sometimes pain or loss of sleep,
Other times relief,

Each ebb and flow
Brings different news,
Sometimes happiness,
Other times singing the blues;

Not sure if or how this is connected
To my present doubts
Or the resolve
That points the other way

But I believe I’m going to
Take some time off,
To explore where
This mystery goes.





*Taking a break. Hope to be back in May.

Thanks for reading!

Lee