Discretion: Meeting Doubt

Many things to do,
Big chores afoot,
So much to catch up on
But finding time and energy,
That’s always the trouble.

Pain and difficulty bubbled up
And I misplaced my metta,
How could I forget?
I forgot that too!

Change is coming
And it’s not just the weather,
A wind is blowing through
But for what? —Ill or better?

No matter what plans I make
There’s always the unexpected break,
The job that won’t wait
Or the unanticipated accident;

Anxiety’s in the air,
A whiff of fear;
What’s happening next?
Will it be up to specs?

Will I be able to take it?
Or will the hurricane
Produce a fit
Or another hit?

Not sure where this is going,
Uncertainty is the theme,
What about the unseen?
That which I cannot interrogate,

I really must let go of doubt
And turn towards some useful work,
It’s better to keep on that
Than worry and fret all day.

Discrete: Choppy Waters

Business unusual,
Looking at new options,
Courted by astonishment
And dancing with uncertainty;

Doubt and worry
On the horizon,
Like storm clouds
Slowly moving in,

Have to hunker down
Or get blown before the wind,
Carried away by chaos,
Brought back by resolve,

Can’t get involved
In angry explosions,
Or wild cascading emotions,
Like torrents of rain;

Furiously, it falls, again and again,
‘Til I get lost
And forget what’s happening,
Caught up in the tempest,

Unable to sleep
But instead continuing to ruminate,
On past injustices and present,
Not really being in the present.

Whatever happened to mindfulness?
It disappears and reappears
Like a log floating in
A turbulent stream,

One can only go along
When the river is so strong
And yet aiming for the shore,
I finally surface once more.

Discrepancy: Crunched

Feeling plowed under
With fatigue and pain,
Longing for relief
But finding none.

Sitting with this
Is very unpleasant
But getting up
Too much effort;

Can’t get up,
Can’t calm down,
Agitation fizzes,
Muscle pain burns;

Then, “let it burn”
Comes to mind,
Fed up with half measures,
There’s a mountain to climb.

Way too much to do,
Such a long list,
Would rather be resting
But have to move on.

One task piles on top another
And the weight presses heavily,
Another migraine coming on
Does not reduce the stress.

To cry, “help!”
Does not ease it either,
So not sure what to do
Or where to look;

Have to exercise patience,
Resolve to push gently forward,
This downturn will upturn
And everything will look better.