Clouded Under: Weather Wandering

Oh, no!
Blogging,
Oops, forgot again,
Too busy practicing, but

The weather is delightful,
Quilted sky
Frowns down upon
The earth,

What a scowl!
But no rain comes.
Seagulls fly low
To avoid hitting the ceiling,

Ripples of light
Leak through
The holes,
Brightening the horizon.

What a day,
But too much
To summarize,
The atmosphere tells all,

A chilly evening in store,
Time to bundle up
And get ready
To go to work once more.

Flying around
To prepare
Like the gulls
That rise and swoop;

Gulping down supper
To make up time;
Going way to fast,
But the comfort
Doesn’t last anyway.

Clouded: Shaken up and Stirred

Meditation started well,
Ended up with
Rage, rage,
And rage continued.

Slid into frustration
Flavoured with fatigue,
And a desire to escape from
Everything present,

Plus longing for
Unconsciousness, not to be here;
Even after meditation,
The nightmare persisted,

Unpleasant, unpleasant,
Anguish, grief and sadness.
When am I going to
See the heart of this?

When do I get to
The end of it,
Put a stop to it (if I can),
When?

Intense emotional upwelling
And outbursts recurring
Not sure why so
Critical of what’s here.

Disliking, reactive thoughts:
‘I could have taken a nap
If I did not have to
Be on call all the time.’

Judging, believing that,
Followed by anger.
Shaken up and stirred,
What a palaver!

Climb: Micro-Progress

Depressed mood,
How to
Make it better?

Brushed my teeth,
Aimed attention there,
Depression back-grounded,

Directed myself
Not to get involved,
Kept with the action.

Black moods
Come and go,
Let them.

Stayed with
The activity,
Leaving the mood alone.

Let resistance be,
Felt it,
But hung in with the brushing.

Breathed in and out
And kept busy,
Focused on the task.

Held steady,
Let go,
And looked in the mirror,

Neither feeding,
Nor retreating,
Nor getting lost,

Very difficult job,
But it
Felt right.