However: Forging Ahead

My concentration practice led to the hypothesis that
Tis not wanting, nor not, nor neither that causes suffering
But imbalance:  one-pointed obsession on any of these three,
And that what is needed is a wider view
That encompasses this trio and all else too;

And this has opened out into
Returning once again to practicing mindfulness
As a potential solution or at least a useful tool
For pursuing the aforementioned goal;

But what a tricky task to undertake!
To try to exercise sound judgment on what to attend to
And how to respond or act
In the most skillful and beneficial way;

And how full-circle again I thought it today
While on my way to grocery shop
That I found that concentration too
Was so equally important for sustaining attention to this goal;

It is so easy to forget,
Become distracted and fall back into old habits;
Continuous effort is not easy to achieve
And then even that may become just another obsession or extreme;

Even following the middle way
May become just as fanatical
As chasing after any other goal
If it becomes too mechanical;

Regularly swinging back and forth appears unavoidable
And the frequent stops and starts may be unenjoyable,
Like the rush hour traffic during construction today:
Almost as painful to watch as it is to participate in;

But still I strive on as best I can,
Simultaneously developing compassion for all of us who are stuck
On this crowded, noisy congested avenue, exerting ourselves towards
Arriving at whatever destination we look forward to.

Facets: Searching

A garden centipede
Has taken up residence
And occupies itself
Crawling back and forth
Across the carpeted bedroom floor;

It follows roughly the same lines,
Popping up alarmingly
From somewhere at different times,
Hunting for its prey, I presume

And thus, in order to avoid
Tramping on it accidentally,
I’m tempted
To put up a sign: “Centipede crossing,”

Although,
I’m not sure
Exactly where
This sign ought to go,

Hanging from the ceiling
In the middle
Of the room
Seems best

But I’m not sure how
I would get it
Up there
Or on what I’d hang it up;

Meanwhile,
I’m moving onward
To pursue some goals of my own,
Some as yet unknown

And so, I walk back and forth now
On the same carpeted floor,
Thinking out my next move,
In my own pursuit of something elusive.

Extroversion: Looking Outward

What’s on tonight?
The same old thing
Going into work
And coming home again,

Listening to some news
About war and injustice,
Efforts to bring peace
And reduce the general unrest, without success,

Major swings in the world’s
Economic fortunes,
Money changing hands
Through the electronic counters,

People crying for justice,
While powerful nations
Sit it out and wait
Watching the course of fate,

The hand wringing never ceases
But no action takes place
As the violence picks up the pace
And refugees race to escape the devastation,

It’s a puzzle to me,
How anyone can be free
When nobody does anything
To ensure it comes to be,

My compassion grows
For all those
Who’ve gotten in the way
Of the bombs falling every day,

May they all find refuge
From this terrible situation,
May we all find a method
To put an end to the carnage
Before it’s too late for all of us.

Expressly: Ignorance

What if,
Everything we think we know
Is really ignorance:
Everything we see,
Hear, taste, touch, smell,
Think, experience,
It’s all ignorance and delusion.

There are so many ignorances:
The ignorance of a young child,
That we mistakenly call innocence,
The ignorance of a teenager
That we mistakenly refer to as rebellion,

The ignorance of young adults
That we mistakenly call maturation,
The ignorance of middle age
And of old age
That we sometimes confuse with wisdom,

Even though we know that
There’s no fool like an old fool
And no fool as foolish as we ourselves.

And where’s the Buddha in this?
What did he know?
I would guess just this:
That all of us, even he
Lived in delusion,

The difference being that he knew this,
Although he was assuredly not alone
And yet, just as ignorant and deluded
As everybody else is,

And, upon seeing this,
Was moved
To compassion,
Towards all our folly.

Experiential: Neither and Both

And so,
What of suffering?
From here it seems
Unavoidable,

For without it,
There would be
Nothing at all,
And what good would that be?

Plenty of good perhaps,
If one is sick to death
Of existence
And wants to end it all together,

Which is very reasonable
Under some conditions
And perhaps the inevitable outcome
Of having lived too long and seen too much

But in the meantime,
We partake of both,
To the extent
That our conditions allow or mandate;

And it is to be remembered
That we too
Are the conditions
Under which mandate or allowance we exist,

For however long
That existence persists
And perhaps
For however long

Whatever comes after,
Persists or desists,
Whatever
The case may be.

*Experience: Dispassion

Working with dispassion,
Standing back
And letting go of passion,
Steady and strong,

Reflecting on
What it means,
What consequences or results
Will arise from this approach,

Uncertainty and doubt
About what
It’s all
About;

Noticing a certain hardness,
A kind of coldness even,
Not quite indifference,
Nay, in fact, there’s compassion in it!

Nevertheless, a lack of involvement
In what’s going on is perceptible,
Not minding what’s what,
Simply noting with equanimity

But ‘what?’ I then ask,
‘Is the value of this?
Who does it serve?
What does this accomplish?’
Not sure about that yet.




*And now, I’m off on another meditation course.

I hope to be back in March.

Thanks for reading!

Lee

Evaporating: Calming the Restless Mind

Galloping elephants again!
Such agitation,
Such fear, such doubt,
What’s this all about?

Better not to ask
I think,
As I don’t think
I will ever figure it out,

Better to let the elephants
Pass through,
Unimpeded
And the mind relaxed a little,

Remembering
The benevolence of the elephants
That they do not
Mean to cause trouble

And, are in fact
Quite unaware
Of the difficulties
They bring to the forest,

Directing compassion
Towards the elephants
And the forest
And the trees,

Slowly, very slowly
The mind is soothed
And quiet ensues,
As the shadows lengthen,

The frenzied energy
Is replaced by bliss,
Which spreads throughout,
Bringing peace and renewal.

Evanescent: Interlude

It is so pleasant
To have the leisure
To engage
In life’s simple pleasures,

A filling breakfast,
A cup of tea,
Watching the world scurry
To and fro outside my window,

Life is not so bad
When one has the time
To sit back and observe,
Even if so much of it is absurd,

Even if one’s budget
Is so small,
That one can barely
Go anywhere or do anything at all,

These precious moments
Arise and fall
And I don’t have to
Put up with the crowds at the mall,

To stay out of the stores
This year is my goal
But instead to enjoy
The quiet pleasures

Available to me,
Which I would wish
To be extended to all,
May all beings be happy,

May they be well,
May they be at peace,
May they be safe,
May they be comfortable.

Estuary: Practice Entry

A day of meditation,
Of turning inward
And feeling
The energy within,

That comes in
Different flavours,
Depending on
What mood I’m in

And then,
Feeling this energy,
I imagine it
Suffusing the entire body,

Every cell
Gets
An equal share
And every structure too,

And not to forget
Every bit of space
Whether in between
Or within,

And when the job is done,
It’s so much fun
That strong bliss arises,
Which in turn is distributed

First within the body with loving-kindness
And then expanding outward
To all beings with compassion
And then to all of everything,

In every direction,
Every realm,
Every astral plane
Everywhere
And finally, there is equanimity.

Essentially: To-Do List

What’s on?
Rain today,
A regular drizzle,
That finally fizzled out,

Lifting spirits
And freshening the air,
Cooler breezes
Coming in this week I hear,

Winter snow
Cannot be far behind,
Festive season
Coming on soon,

Not much more to do,
No shopping spree
Planned for this year,
At least, not so far,

Thoughts of loved ones
Who have turned away
But mostly so long ago,
There’s little remaining dismay,

Instead, focused on
Bringing comfort where I can,
To those still struggling
With abandonment,

Giving rise to compassion,
Resolving to arose abundant energy
For the task,
To make the effort last,

Forsaking any ghosts that may arise from the past,
Turning attention towards
The work ahead
And concentrating on that instead.

Essential: Compassion

All is all
And yet,
This is
Not often seen

And then,
Compassion arose,
For all the blindness
And all the suffering that causes

But wait,
If this indivisibility
Is the way it is,
Then what’s the problem?

There is compassion
Because of this
Lack of separation,
As all is all one being,

One being,
Which cares,
As each of us
Cares about ourselves,

What could be more natural
Than for such
To be so
For all towards all?

Even though such separation,
Such conflicts as are seen
And such suffering
Are only at the surface,

Still,
There is suffering
And there is compassion felt
Towards this suffering.

Essence: Reconciliation

What a peculiar interlude,
As boundaries dissolved
And I felt the indivisibility
Of all

But then later,
Hatred burst forth
And I brought mindfulness to it,
Or so I thought,

For as I finished
And got up,
The oddest feeling overcame me,
That I’d been deeply deluded,

It was as if,
I’d been someone else,
Some alien being,
Totally foreign,

Shocked and dismayed
I turned away
From this unpleasant experience,
Rejecting it,

Then later,
When feeling more connected
And having time to
Concentrate,

Turned inwards
Once again
And there it was,
This intense ill will,

What to do?
I considered,
Then held it with compassion,
Spreading joy and happiness throughout.

Enterprise: Accidental Opportunity for Compassionate Practice

When I looked out on the balcony yesterday, I saw that someone had chucked a lit cigarette off their balcony onto mine. Irritated, as I already had enough to do, I opened the balcony door to retrieve it and was immediately nonplused by a large insect on the greyish stone tile. Then, however, I recognized that it was a Monarch butterfly, but with its wings so folded up that from a certain angle it looked more like a grasshopper.

It had been a cold night, with a temperature below freezing, and I had felt it too, having spent a fitful night, alternating between being too hot and too cold. I therefore guessed the butterfly had folded its wings so tightly in an attempt to keep in what little heat its tiny body could generate, and perhaps to protect it’s delicate wings from the frigid air. I decided to air the place out, thus providing some warm air for the butterfly, and as I got on with my many chores, I periodically checked in to see how it was doing. As it got warmer, the wings began to come up a little, but the butterfly was very unsteady on its legs in the cool breeze that was blowing.

A while later, I saw its open wings flexing and then closing again. Still later, I saw it crawling awkwardly across the stones. When it reached the metal cover on the window washer’s anchor, which must have been very cold indeed, it tried to climb up on that, perhaps trying to get more height from which to launch itself, but it was getting nowhere, and probably getting chilled again as well. I was tempted to intervene, but unsure what to do and fearful of causing further harm, and so I directed compassion towards the butterfly and resumed my work.

Then I saw it fluttering weakly and irregularly towards a neighbour’s balcony. And so, finally I gently spread out my hands to corral it, and offered a hand for it to climb up onto, thinking perhaps I could warm it up enough for it to be able to fly properly. After crawling onto the offered hand, however, maybe it realized that this warm soft something was alive, and it quickly hopped back off again. But the second time it crawled onto the proffered hand, perhaps as whatever this something was hadn’t tried to eat it or otherwise harm it, it quickly located a comfortable perch. Soon it began flexing its wings quite vigorously, and within a few minutes took off and soared like a bird, flapping strongly and quickly away. And so, I said farewell and wished it a safe journey. As I had beheld it resting on my hand and afterwards I reflected upon its frame of reference in relation to this encounter, whether or not its acceptance of this assistance was an active act of trust, and how this timely intervention began with a carelessly flicked lit cigarette!

Enshrined: Boundless Heartedness

We speak of
Generating compassion
Or of
Seeking wisdom

But today it appears
There is no need
To generate anything
Or seek anything,

Because
Compassion is always
Available
And so is wisdom;

For, the compassion of
The heart is large
And so is
Its wisdom

And so,
All one
Has to do
Is see that

And all one
Has to do to see that is
To read
The book of the heart;

For even when
One is steeped in involvement,
Whether awake or ignorant,
All is available.

And with this impression,
A letting go ensued
And although there was fear with this,
There was also wisdom and compassion and everything
That finally erupted into a smile.

Ensconced: Heart Notes

Picking up from where I left off yesterday, I also like Ajahn Chah’s comment, “Nowhere in the world is any real peace to be found. That’s the nature of the world. Look within yourself and find it instead” (A Tree in a Forest, 17).

The first two parts are certainly consistent with my experience and the third with my conclusion that if I want kindness, there’s no use waiting around for it to fall on me from somewhere ‘out there.’ Oh no! If I want any, I am going to have to make my own because it’s definitely an inside job.

Nevertheless, after the bliss and even the stability described in my previous post, as usual, the rage came, along with a desire for revenge.

But then, turning towards the heart and breathing through the heart, there was that stability again.

Continuing to look, I saw that the rage and desire were happening on the surface, i.e., were superficial, although moments before they had seemed so strong.

Oddly too, this part of the body in the area of the heart is a place where I often have a lot of pain from the Fibromyalgia, and it felt so strange, this combination of pain and stability.

No wonder I’ve had so much trouble finding it, as I’m often reluctant to bring my attention to that place because it hurts, but the stability too is very intense.

Then fear did indeed set in and it was back to breathing globally, i.e., with expanded attention, encompassing the entire body.

And so, I continue to see that there does indeed seem to be an instruction manual pre-installed. For every time I bring attention to the heart, I learn something new.

May the discoveries keep on coming and extend outwards to you, and you and you!
May all beings be well
May all beings be truly happy.
May all beings be free!

May it be so.

Energized: Pining for Action

Those who think
They know
Know only
Thinking

And when the words come
They only sing
Like birds
But what do they mean?

My daily work
Is all about words,
Whereas,
I think I’d rather be

Working
In a garden,
Raking leaves
And preparing for winter;

How funny language is
And yet
We are so
Full of it!

Yap, yap, yap;
That’s what we do
But what’s the point?
(Not that there needs to be one)

We produce lots of hot air,
Perhaps that’s
The true source
Of The Greenhouse Effect!

All these human beings
Yapping all day,
Often without thinking
But either way it’s unavoidable
It’s just the way our lives are arranged.

Endeavouring: Exploring the Stream

If there were a division
Between Nirvana and Samsara,
Nirvana would be unattainable
But as there is no separation,
There is nothing to attain,

Nevertheless, Nirvana is realized
But what is realized?
We all live in delusion
And will continue to do so,

But as this delusion is shared,
There is no reason for sorrow
And yet there is ample justification for compassion,
As attachment to this delusion produces much suffering;

But the good news is
This suffering is
Not distinct from Nirvana,
As they are inseparable;

Looking through suffering,
One sees Nirvana
And looking through Nirvana
One sees there is suffering,

The one supports the other,
So one needs to let go of both
And yet there is no need to let go of either,
For holding on is inseparable from letting go.

Suffering is really no different from not suffering,
So there’s nothing to worry about,
One is always secure,
Always safe;

It’s said that
In understanding one Noble Truth,
For example, suffering, one understands them all.
YES! I think perhaps this is so.

Encouraging: Making Peace with Craving

What’s the matter
With craving?
Leave the poor thing alone!
Why pick on the passions?

Yearning can even be fun
Or at least no trouble,
If one makes no bother
Over it,

Because, hey,
It’s just desire
And quite ordinary;
It doesn’t mean to annoy,

Just notice
And enjoy!
It won’t be long
Before it’s gone

And then
What will you do?
It’s up to you,
Isn’t it?

Or is it?
Are you in control?
Really?
Wow!

You’re way ahead of me, then,
You lucky duck,
You fortunate one,
Or maybe not,

Perhaps, you’re merely deluded
Or I am, or more than likely both!
Either way, it’s all okay
Unless it isn’t, in which case,
Hopefully we’ll see better soon.

Emphasis: Balancing Act

Life can be cruel,
Like an endless duel,
A very hard school,
Where difficulty and disappointment are the rule.

If so, then one may ask
What sort of tool
Can be employed to grapple with this test?
As such would be a precious jewel.

In my view,
A certain toughness is needed
To stand up to hardship and meet it
But that is perilous as well,

For indifference to
The plight
Can create hard heartedness,
Which brings no delight,

As such imperviousness may only increase woe
By making us insensitive,
So we might
Be just as cold as Antarctic ice.

So to counteract this unresponsiveness,
Compassion is required
But even such a benign approach
Does not end our trouble,

For steeping in sentiment
Can sabotage our efforts,
Allowing emotion to blind us,
Producing imprudent decisions and actions

And so,
Some wisdom is essential too,
To ensure a balance
In between the two.

Drilling: Seeking Further

So, once satisfaction
Is obtained
What then?
What’s all the fuss?

Compassion arises
Towards all the world,
For which
There is no solution

But one
Has to try,
For that’s
How it goes,

We still
Need a problem
To solve,
No matter how impossible;

Tis our nature,
It seems,
To always be seeking
Solutions and applying these;

This futility
Knows no bounds
But it’s okay,
Just what we do;

It feels so good
To make the effort;
And without stress
We’d all be droopy noodles!

It’s the way of all beings
To pursue,
Even when
Nothing will do.