Headway: Next

After many busy practice days
I concluded that my goal was just this:
The regular pursuit of
Non-sensual mind-calming bliss;

But then one day, fully overwhelmed by
Ferocious hatred and passion for vengeance,
I asked myself, 'What if
My desire was fulfilled forthwith?'

Imagining such brought forth
Intense non-sensual joy
That I then sought to increase
After dropping the original object of it;

Having thus, through right effort, purified this happiness
And similarly vanquishing all hindrances to it,
Even those that hadn't arisen yet!
I moved on to a yet greater task;

I asked myself, 'What if
with a single finger-snap I could ensure
For all time that
No such hindrances could ever arise?'

And right then there ceased
All discrimination along the lines of
'What I want, don't want or neither,'
which result felt like nothing I could describe here!

But also led to the cessation of
All action and will to action,
which I found not to be
A very helpful consequence;

'Then, perhaps,' thought I, 'tis not
Wanting, nor not wanting, nor neither that's at fault
But imbalance:  one-pointed obsession on any of these three,
And that what is needed is a wider view
That encompasses this trio and all else too!

Furthest Yet: Over the Top!

There was noise
Quite a lot of noise,
Not unusual
At this time of year

While I waited
For 11 p.m. to occur
I tried a guided meditation
By myself, for myself

I focused on the aversion
On this occasion,
Asked if I could use it
To propel myself away from the world

I considered the world,
The imperfection of the world
Broke it down
To all its elements

Analyzed it down
To all the senses,
Contact at the senses,
The sense organs and the sensory processes;

All thinking
And all types of awareness;
The form of the body
And the form of the world:

The endless fruitless cycle
That repeats
And leads to nothing
But more of the same

Instructed myself
Not to take up any of it,
Not in any way;
And so passed the time
And then carried on with determination

Fall To: Keep Moving

The Fibro-attack returns
And, oh, how my chest burns!
My shoulders ache,
Restlessness, despair and fear overtake

The changing winds
Catch me in their wake
And I am knocked over
By the pounding of the waves

I tried meditation, yoga, walking and resting,
Devotional practice and chanting
But finally, at wits end, switched to
Tylenol 3, obtaining some relief

Still, when I tried to read
The tears surfaced,
From somewhere, unbidden,
As if the story touched a nerve

Not entirely sure
What that's all about
But then found help
In direct pointing to neither here nor not

In this place I found temporary respite
But had to get up and do some work,
which broke the spell somewhat
Nevertheless leading to some new insights

Impermanence makes
All good things precious;
In the flow
We watch and slip away,

Enjoying
The fleeting contact
All the more
And waving goodbye

Fabric: Holding it Together

Tired,

Ever so tired

Because it’s time

To go to bed

But,

I got caught

On words and thoughts

Related to my busy day.

There’s so much

Going on inside my head

And I’m not sure

How much longer it will get,

One word

Leads to another,

One thought,

Piles upon another,

I keep finding my way out

Only to find

My way

Back in again,

Forgetting and

Remembering my place,

Accomplishing a little

And then lost in thought once more,

Awaiting the finish

Of my computer’s

Latest virus scan

Before retiring,

Watching the numbers

Flash upon the screen,

‘Too slow!’ I fume,

Before turning away

And writing this poem.

Eyesight: Sailing the Briny Deep

Fire and brimstone
Me hearties!
As everything’s
Gone mad again!

It’s too far to go
To get what I want
And so, I’ll have to
Fight on, for what I’ve got.

Not sure what’s the point
But I’ll soldier on anyway,
Because life’s just
This way:

If we go forth unchallenged,
We get flabby and lazy,
If we have no obstacles,
We resolve into gelatin,

Thus we have to struggle
If we’re going to succeed
At staying afloat
On the rolling sea,

Hence, it’s
Look alive
Me hearties
And climb up into the rigging,

Setting the sails
And tacking
For as long as
The headwinds blow

And then, taking a rest
When the sun sets
In the west,
Providing the winds settle at dusk.

Eyewitness: Involvement

Out of touch,
As, so busy, busy,
Flitting about
And getting lost
In so much

But still
Getting by,
Getting jobs done
And having fun,

Tripping over
Technological glitches
But finding temporary fixes,
Even though it’s so annoying,

Injecting humour
At every turnover,
Sharing mirth
And establishing worth,

Running around
From store to bank,
From bank to store,
From store to phone and out again,

Losing the plot
But accomplishing a lot
Of related tasks
In spite of delays and obstacles,

Learning fast
From mistakes
And missteps
And making progress,

Then impatiently waiting
But turning towards the impatience
And enjoying the process
Of observation.

Eye: Turn Towards

Here I am again,
Pounding away
At this crummy keyboard,
I’d like a better one, one day,

All day long,
I listened to the radio,
More on the world
But little good news;

I searched my brain,
For something positive
In what I heard
But little occurred to me;

Turning attention
To my reaction,
Noticing the feelings
And the attraction;

Pulled by the energy,
Which feels good by itself,
Never ceases to amaze me,
What a difference that makes.

It’s such an uncomplicated practice
To which I keep returning,
Whenever I get lost,
It comes to my rescue.

If only the world’s problems
Could all be solved
By such a straightforward technique,
In which we all got involved.

What would that be like?
I’d sure like to see,
If we all practiced together
In this simple way.

Exuding: Grumping Along

Valleys and peaks,
My back feels better
But my head aches
And my hands shake.

Looking for remedies,
Then enjoying the relief,
Sunny days
But not getting enough sleep;

Motorcycle roars outside
But the air is fresh,
Irritated by the noise
But attempting to ignore it, I do my best.

Hearing men shouting
And the slamming of car doors,
Returning my attention once again
I carry on with my chores.

These interruptions
Would not be so bad
If I was really interested
In my tasks

But my mind wanders,
As if searching for a break
From these monotonous duties
That make little sense.

Having grumped about it,
Now that’s out of the way,
I can get back to it
And into something else to say,

Looking forward to
A good night’s rest,
Can’t wait to get home
And put my feet up at last!

Extroverted: Succinctly

What a mess!
Why all this work?
Where does it lead?
Nowhere, as far as I can see;

So much frustration and effort
For nothing,
Just to make
A handful of dollars,

Would it not
Be better
To work for nothing
For myself?

And yet,
Would it be
Any less frustrating
Or any more profitable?

Alas, I fear not,
Going out on one’s own
Is such a risk
And requires many resources,

No one is independent
Of circumstances
And they need to be just right
In order to succeed;

And where will this end?
When will this project cease?
With my end, I suppose
Whatever that is. . .

Put succinctly: Everything and everyone
Is bound
By circumstances
And yet,
Everything and everyone is free.

Extrinsic: Pressed

Feeling just
A little bit tense,
Due to recent events
Set in motion,

Not sure
How it started
Or who
Is ultimately responsible,

But, in any case,
I’m jittery
And my back is sore
From holding tension there,

The muscles contract,
As if preparing
For some sneak attack,
From behind my back,

Which coincidentally
Is how it feels,
When one gets caught
In between the hub and the tires;

I feel as if
I’m getting squeezed
Between the wants of others
And my needs;

Difficult to please,
That’s how people are
But that includes me
I suppose,

How people ever manage
To get along
Is a mystery sometimes,
The answer to which
Nobody knows.

Extricated: On the Way Home

Busy day:
Shooing pigeons
Off the balcony,
With the old, red-handled string mop,

Now, making breakfast
And out to the market
And back again,
To put the groceries away;

On and off
The phone
And then,
Made a list for the pharmacy,

Off I go again,
Enjoying the mild weather,
A pleasant spring day;
Don’t get many as comfortable as this!

Walking about with ease,
Watching the grass green
And new shoots
Of vegetation gleam;

Everybody’s energetic,
The sky shouts, “come and get it!”
This beautiful blue
And the sun shining too!

But instead I get stuck
In the store,
As I cannot locate two items
And only find one after a long while

And then the store
Has some peculiar accounting,
Which takes time to figure out before,
I’m finally out the door and heading home.

Extremely: Pigeon Pie?

It’s pigeon mayhem
Around here,
Someone has fed them
And they just keep coming

And so, out I go
With my string mop
To the balcony
Waving it like a lance,

These irritating, messy birds flee;
Thus, every time I see
One of these filthy creatures,
Out I go,

Perhaps this is a hint
That I don’t get out enough
Or have not been exercising much of late
But I sure am now!

It’s not difficult
To remain mindful and alert
And get a good work out
When these villains come to call,

In addition, however,
I’ve been contemplating
Pigeon pie
And pigeon stew

But could I really do that?
Perhaps not
But if this keeps up
Who knows,

Maybe I would acquire a taste
For such and set some traps out there
But hopefully they will soon move on
And we won’t have to find out.

Extreme: Working Uphill

Getting late
And I’ve still
So much to do
But I need to sleep too,

The minutes
Tick by
So fast
And don’t last

But this
Is hardly news,
I’m just so absorbed
In my woes,

Angry thoughts
Split the darkness
Inside the mind
Like shards of glass,

Have to calm down
And get it together
But keep going over
The central matter

Like spokes
On the wheel
Or bats
Flocking,

All the problems
Go around
Or cluster,
As if mocking

My efforts to
Get them under control
Seems about as futile
As attempting to halt a snowfall,
Still, I try anyway, tackling all.

Extracting: Drinking the Moment

Returning to the present:
Restlessness,
Sloth and torpor,
Concentration,

Feeling the energy,
Hearing, seeing,
Observing the happenings,
Being with the breathing,

Thoughts come and go,
Passing like clouds
Through an endless sky
And disappearing over the horizon,

Sensations of heat and cold,
Grow and change
And merge
Into one another,

Close examination of pain
Reveals vibration
And a rainbow of colours
In the mind’s eye,

Fascinated by the show,
And so,
Forgetting about
The discomfort,

Sitting, as on a throne,
At the top
Of the world,
Looking outwards,

Spaciousness,
Melting into
The clear blue
Of the afternoon sky.

Extract: Pulling Through

Up so late,
Checking in
With the news
But finally relaxed
For a very short snooze,

Before rousing myself
And getting up running,
Flying through the day
Not feeling much of anything,

Focused on doing
And getting ready for work,
Wondering how I’ll make it
Through this mountain of chores,

One piles on another
And nothing seems to go right,
Everything breaking down
And fixing it no delight,

I’m full of fight
About issues
About which I’ve been hearing
That make me feel like sparring

But strategically speaking,
I’m still thinking
Of where to go
From here,

There’s a great deal of fear
But that’s common I hear,
And nothing about which
To be surprised,

As long as
We’re alive
We must know fear,
It’s just part of the here.

Extra: Too Much

Once again
I’m so far behind,
So much is happening
There’s not time to unwind,

Up all night,
Checking in with the news
And getting a real case
Of too much news blues

Now, rushing around
Trying to do
Way too much
And not liking it much,

Such much!
And so much bewilderment
And way to many muches,
To which I cannot keep up,

But one thing that’s good
Is that I’ve forgotten about pain,
Although I’ll soon remember
And be complaining again,

Meanwhile,
Rush, rush
Rush rush,
Rush, rush,

Excuse me,
As I’ve got to run,
No time for doddling,
No time for sitting,

Have to get up
And stop diddling now,
Got to get going
And get out from under
This pile of work somehow.

Extensively: Growl!

All worn out
By a blizzard of activity
And a gale of bad tidings,
Both at home and abroad

And to top it all
Woke up too early,
With such pain in my shoulders
I could barely move

But up I got
And moved around,
Moved around,
Achy and cranky,

Stumbling to the kitchen
For a cup of coffee,
Infuriated by the news
And ready for a fight,

With a, “how dare they?”
And a flurry of curses,
For the untimely demise
Of the greedy and the miserly;

The folks in these parts
That run the government,
Who seek to short-change the public,
While adorning themselves in gold nuggets!

But, what did I expect?
I saw this coming
But sometimes I wish
I wasn’t so accurate!

Prognosticating bad news
In a way that is so exact,
So matter-of-fact,
Making Nostradamus
Seem like a mere crackpot.

Extemporize: Ouchie!

Pain, pain, pain
That old recurring theme again,
From a too warm spring
That nature did fling
At my aging body and mind,

Oh, achy me,
Sleeping badly,
Waking up frequently
And groaning with discomfort,

How long will this last?
Will it ever end?
Same old questions,
Feel like a slave to this afflicted carcass,

Dragging it around,
Like a ton of bricks,
Should have been a bricklayer
Then maybe I’d know how to get aligned,

But for now,
Try to put some positive spin
On this no-win,
Until I can get home, wherever that is,

Taking extra medication
Got me to sleep in,
What a relief that was,
Although only temporary,

Fatigue still dogs me,
All day long,
Exhausting effort,
To keep everything going,

Preparing green tea
With fresh ginger sliced,
Hoping the infusion
Will this discomfort reduce.

Extemporaneous: Delightful

Washing the milk pitcher
And smiling a lot,
Swirling the water
As it bubbles up,

Playing with it
And having fun,
Breezing through
This regular chore as never before,

Never before
And never again,
Making milk from the powder
And stirring it with aplomb

But then after I’d completed
Preparing my supper,
Felt too tired and hungry
To do my work out first, as I normally do

And then thinking,
How does this dovetail
With my lightened mood?
‘But, does it have to I asked?

What makes me think
It has to make sense?
What makes me think
That anything does?

Why does everything
Have to connect?
Does life have to make sense?
Does everything have to add up?

And what if it doesn’t?
Should I be upset?—Gracious, no!
For if so, that would only create more suffering.’
But after all that, I exercised anyway!
And what of the subsequent supper, eaten with hunger?—Completely delicious!

Expressive: Minor Explosion

Oh my,
What a mood!
I’d like to fly
Right out of here!

But instead,
I’ve got to shop!
But irritation exploded
When I found the Farmer’s Market closed

And why?
St Patrick’s day festivities
Had taken over
The place!

‘Blast this useless festival,’
I fumed silently,
Stomping down the street
In a daze,

‘Now, I’ll have to go elsewhere
And may have to go without,
Or visit multiple stores
Or lug a very heavy load.’

But forward I pushed on
And got the job done,
Only to get home and remember,
‘Oh drat, my blog!’

And so, here I am,
Rapidly relating this stormy episode
But all went well
In the end

And no one suffered
From this temper tempest;
I rolled through the aisles amiably,
And stood in line in proper order.