Doorway: Unexpected Turn

Tonight’s misery
Born of ongoing difficulties with sciatica
Led to agitation and walking meditation
In the hallways,

Starting from
The top of the building
And working my way down
To the first floor,

First, climbing to the penthouse
Crossing the thick dark carpeting,
Focusing on the feet
As they trod over it,

Then down the stairs
To the floor below,
And so on,
Until I got to one;

From there,
I checked my mailbox
And noticed the irritation
At the junk mail I had to sort,

At one point wanted to abort
But decided to follow through
And finish it off
Before taking the elevator back.

And then, having gotten going
Decided to dispose
Of the garbage overflowing
And found this too over-stimulating,

Resulting in a restless sitting
But reflecting on, Alan Watts, Buddhism: Religion of No Religion, Concluding that, everything we do is indispensable
But as nobody’s in charge, no one is responsible for any of it.
And with that, complete relaxation and relief ensued.

Distinctive: Soul-full Encounter

Pondering Alan Watts' words,
In, Out of Your Mind,
About Hindu beliefs
About the nature of life;

He reported that
They see us as all part
Of a self,
Non-dual and inclusive;

And so,
Every one and every thing
You see is really YOU
But only very cleverly disguised,

Thus, on my way to work,
I performed this thought experiment,
On what if this is so,
How would that be?

And in so doing found
I felt highly positively disposed
Towards every human being
On the street

And also to
All else that I could see
And hear, and feel
And experience in any way

But then, suddenly my concentration was broken
By the sight I next beheld,
For I spied a large furry critter
Feeding on local delicacies,

A raccoon perched atop a rubbish bin
Confronted me on my way in,
Barely pausing from chewing its repast,
Even when I called, “I hope you enjoy your meal!”
‘Ah, so!’ thought I, ‘perhaps it knows this secret too!’

Advent: Ignition

In my last post, I wrote about how my Tara practice led to an experience of disappearance. This was merely the first in a series of peculiar events that occurred during one week of particularly intense Fibromyalgia pain.

The next day, I was again reduced to lying in bed moaning and groaning, but once again I was able to let go by focusing on Tara. This time, I was overcome by an intense feeling of bliss. All of my pain disappeared for a time. It was actually a bit scary because it seemed to come from nowhere. I concentrated on my breath, however, and then this cascading joy swept over me, practically lifting me off the bed. Alas, when it ended the pain returned.

During the next incident I was cooking supper. Suddenly a bright light seemed to emerge from deep inside of me, engulfing me. ‘It’s too bright! It’s too bright!’ I thought. I had to stop what I was doing and grab on to something. The light intensified, growing brighter and brighter, then exploding outward like some kind of supernova blast. I was enveloped in light and all-encompassing joy. (Interestingly, Tara is often associated with light; light and related imagery appear frequently in the 21 praises of Tara to which I alluded earlier.)

After that I was able to return to my task, had supper, and went to work. The feeling of joy persisted, however, and on my way home, I felt as if I could see the same light in everyone I saw on the street.

This all seemed amazing, incredible at the time, though I later learned that such experiences are quite common for many people who employ the sorts of practices in which I had been engaged. It turned out not to be anything special really, but it certainly felt unique back then.

Naturally, I wanted more information and kept looking for it. One place I found it was in a series of CDs called, Out of Your Mind, and other assorted talks by Alan Watts. He had an amazing way of explaining Buddhism, particularly Zen, which was so simple and yet so profound. It wasn’t until some years later that I discovered his little trick, which I am not going to reveal here; it’s much more fun for you to find out on your own. His material is all over the web; so, you should not have trouble finding it. A simple search is all it takes.

Next time, I will attempt to finish up the “My Quest” series, as I am itching to get on to writing about my current practice.