Nibbana: Everyone

I see suffering;
I see misery
But I also see
that it has an end!

And that
this
end
is...
glorious!

The Buddha reported
His methods supported
Seeing beyond
the imagination.

And this
is so.
But
How?

Because,
as for what
is beyond
the imagination...

It is
what is
of course!
And that I can see.

And that
everyone
can
see,

If they look carefully
with
a clear mind
and a still body.

Nibbana: adukkha

When I had stilled the body with the four Jhānas and the mind was thereby concentrated, purified, bright, unblemished, rid of defilement, pliant, malleable, steady and [imperturbable] (MN36), I directly knew: when the body, the mind and the self are set aside, nothing terrible happens.

Headway: Next

After many busy practice days
I concluded that my goal was just this:
The regular pursuit of
Non-sensual mind-calming bliss;

But then one day, fully overwhelmed by
Ferocious hatred and passion for vengeance,
I asked myself, 'What if
My desire was fulfilled forthwith?'

Imagining such brought forth
Intense non-sensual joy
That I then sought to increase
After dropping the original object of it;

Having thus, through right effort, purified this happiness
And similarly vanquishing all hindrances to it,
Even those that hadn't arisen yet!
I moved on to a yet greater task;

I asked myself, 'What if
with a single finger-snap I could ensure
For all time that
No such hindrances could ever arise?'

And right then there ceased
All discrimination along the lines of
'What I want, don't want or neither,'
which result felt like nothing I could describe here!

But also led to the cessation of
All action and will to action,
which I found not to be
A very helpful consequence;

'Then, perhaps,' thought I, 'tis not
Wanting, nor not wanting, nor neither that's at fault
But imbalance:  one-pointed obsession on any of these three,
And that what is needed is a wider view
That encompasses this trio and all else too!

Gallant: Cultivating Seclusion

Cultivating seclusion
From
Greed and distress
Towards the world

This is the recurring theme,
The current scheme
Around which
I organized today's activities

How does one
Seclude the mind
From craving such delights
As a bowl of gourmet stew?

When filthy pesky pigeons
Rudely intrude, getting in the way,
How does one seclude the mind
From greed and distress?

(And these occurrences
Are mere perturbances,
Minor day-to-day irritations,
Not even major catastrophic cataclysms!)

It's impossible of course
But having accepted that as well,
One is free to carry on,
Benefiting now and in the long term

These actions requiring much effort,
Nevertheless provide much temporary relief
From the daily grief
Of plodding through this flawed world

And this work may herald
Further gains:
Freedom from imperfection;
The end of samsaric bane

Fruitful: Always on the Way

Today
It has
Occurred
To me

That
Followers
Of
The way

Are
Like
Lost
Sheep

Unable
To
Be
Shepherded

They
Falter
And
Sway

Stumbling
Through
The
Day

Not knowing
Quite where
They
Are going

And yet
Always
On
The way

Facilitated: Just Another Swan Song

It might have been
Something
That happened
At work,

It might have been
The hot weather
That
Sent the signal

Or
It might have been
Only just
Time to go

But
I’m leaving
This job behind
And I don’t want
To write about it or remember anymore;

It’s gone,
It’s just a ghost,
I can hardly wait to
Get past this post,

To abandon this pit stop,
If it even was that!
Goodbye to all
And get on with it!

No bags to pack,
This time, not even that,
For I didn’t even have
My own desk at which to rest

But had to keep moving around
And so, maybe this
Is just a continuation
Of that motion.

Facets: Searching

A garden centipede
Has taken up residence
And occupies itself
Crawling back and forth
Across the carpeted bedroom floor;

It follows roughly the same lines,
Popping up alarmingly
From somewhere at different times,
Hunting for its prey, I presume

And thus, in order to avoid
Tramping on it accidentally,
I’m tempted
To put up a sign: “Centipede crossing,”

Although,
I’m not sure
Exactly where
This sign ought to go,

Hanging from the ceiling
In the middle
Of the room
Seems best

But I’m not sure how
I would get it
Up there
Or on what I’d hang it up;

Meanwhile,
I’m moving onward
To pursue some goals of my own,
Some as yet unknown

And so, I walk back and forth now
On the same carpeted floor,
Thinking out my next move,
In my own pursuit of something elusive.

Expound: Unbounded

The hardest insight
To come by,
The pinnacle of all,
Or so I humbly suggest,

Is that everything
Is Nirvana
And so,
Even suffering is Nirvana,

Not suffering is Nirvana,
All the conditioned phenomena
That are classified
As being suffering,

These too are Nirvana,
The very aches and pains,
Frustrations and irritations
That we so dislike,

All of these too
Are nothing but
Nirvana itself
But it’s so difficult to fathom,

Particularly,
When one is in it,
Up to the chin
In dire circumstances,

This is the great and tricky feat,
To be overwhelmed,
All sanity overturned,
Every moment excruciatingly upended,

To yearn for relief
And yet to see even in this yearning,
The truth of release,
The ultimate understanding,
That this too is ‘it!’

Experiments: Drifting

So many times
I get lost in speculation,
Engrossed and involved,
Bewildered and frustrated

And then finally
I grow tired of it
And the mind falls silent
For an interval

Or I forget
All about it
And move on
To some chore I need to do

But before long
I’m off again
In some delicious, delightful
Or grueling exploration,

Some flight of fancy
Or existential investigation,
A little lightheartedness
Or a load of weighty consideration,

Like a cloud
Drifting across the sky,
Reshaping itself
To fit the terrain,

Dropping rain
As it streams over mountains,
Shrinking as it passes
Across the shimmering desert,

Expanding rapidly
When it drinks in evaporating moisture,
As it’s blown over
Sparkling waters.

Experiences: Pragmatics

When I concluded
That all I need do
Is attend to
What needs doing,
At first, I thought,
‘How mundane,
How simple!’

But quickly changed to
‘This is not so,’
For what it takes
To sustain this fragile existence
Is often quite challenging and interesting,
Although at times
It can also be
Unbelievably onerous and staggeringly dull!

But when I
Adopt this
Straightforward philosophy,
I feel such a sense of relief,

I can just
Get down to business,
Take a practical approach
Over which I lose no sleep,

And if I stick to it
It gives me
The kind of focus
I so often lack,

Which produces
A deep level of concentration,
As I only need
To look at what
Actually needs doing.
It makes choices so much easier,
As pragmatics are all I need to consider.

Expediency: Something Else

And then,
It hit me,
A possible way
To stay
Exactly where I am,

A potential method
For making this waiting game bearable,
Until such a time
As something else comes along

And so, I searched online,
Until I found,
A laptop I could afford
That I could use anywhere

And then, I bought it
And took it home
And began
To learn how to use it

And that very evening
Began to feel better,
Having accomplished
This goal;

But, as for
The long-term results,
That will have to wait
For the trial and error,

Maybe this
Will keep me going
For an interval
Or even lead to something substantial.

Although it made me smile,
I won’t know for a while
What will become
Of this latest escape attempt.

Exhausting: Venting Worry and Letting it Go

What’s next
For the coming year?
Do I ask,
What is this fear?

What’s coming
That so worries me?
Is it here already,
Is that where I want to be?

Thinking of the future
But what’s in it?
Lost my anchor so long ago
Or did I ever really have it?

Paying attention
To what I’m doing,
I take another sip
Of freshly brewed coffee, savouring it.

It’s so seldom
That I have such a treat,
Perhaps I should
Just focus on that instead,

Let the future
Take care of itself,
As it always has,
And I’ll just coast,

No hurry now,
I’ve got
No better place
To go;

The mind settled
And so,
I forget about tomorrow
And concentrate on now.

Estimation: Letting Go of Concepts

My words
Are as mindless
As the wind
But what is the wind?

The wind is mind too
And so are
These mindless
Words

That blow
Like the mindless wind,
Through
The mindless mindful mind;

And how can such mindfulness
Arise from
This mindless wind
That comes and goes?

Nobody knows
But who
Is
This nobody?

And how
Will I
Recognize this nobody
If and when we meet?

And so,
The wind blows
Or
It doesn’t,

It keeps blowing
Or
It stops
But when it stops
Where does it go?

Entrapment: Stuck

Feeling sluggish,
Like nothing matters,
Under water,
Blowing bubbles;

Trying to get engaged,
Seeking the means
But discovering nothing
Except pipe dreams;

Disappointments
Keep piling up,
As if daily living
Wasn’t enough!

Struggling to get going
And falling back,
Trying again
But making no gains,

One minute it’s okay
And the next it’s a big deal,
Changing so fast
It makes me reel,

Running around
The hamster wheel
But at least it’s good exercise,
Even if it has no appeal!

Not making progress,
Except to yield
To the whole situation
And wait with patience,

As pretty soon
The picture will change
And then a new direction
Will emerge.

Entirety: Lessons of the Heart

Going forward
I keep returning
To the heart’s eye view
Of what there is,

I ask my questions
And find therein
All the answers
I’ve sought so long

But what is the heart?
I haven’t the faintest notion,
How strange to trust the unknown
And then doubt resurfaced again

And so,
I face that hindrance
Once more,
Looking into it,

No easy answers
Do I find,
To climb out from under
This obstacle again

And so the search
Continues anew,
For remedies to combat
Mara’s motley crew,

To dispel, erase,
Be present for
And/or see into,
This unwelcome embrace,

This is my task
For as long as it takes;
But with the heart as ally
I will not fail
And in the end (if there be one) will prevail.

Entirely: Back to the Heart

So bogged down and gummed up,
Engrossed in insoluble problems
And wrestling with them
Until the ground shook,

The way seemed
Completely blocked
And I felt so despondent and stuck
With no means to get through or get up,

Sinking fast
And with no rescuer in sight,
Nor even a tree branch
Upon which to latch,

Doubt piled upon doubt,
Confusion on confusion,
Fully steeped in delusion
And ruinous rumination,

So concentrated on
Seeking answers or solace
That all else seemed pointless
And my attention locked onto the searching,

Peering deeply into
The source of the suffering,
Seeing nothing except seeing,
Waiting for what?

Then finally came
A route to follow,
As Ajahn Chah’s suggestion
Came back to me,

Namely that
Of reading
The book
Of the heart
And there at last, I found peace.

Entertain: Now is My Only Home

My home is now,
It’s the only place
I’ve ever been
And the only place
I will ever be,

There can be
No other location,
Never was
And never will be,

Whatever is
Happening,
Is what’s always
Been happening,

Whatever I see
Is what
I’ve always
Seen,

Whatever I think
Is what
I’ve always
Thought,

There is
No continuation,
Only
The continuity of now,

Even though
There is change,
There is no change,
As I’m always here;

I can be nowhere else
Even when
I don’t know it
And cannot see it.

Enterprise: Accidental Opportunity for Compassionate Practice

When I looked out on the balcony yesterday, I saw that someone had chucked a lit cigarette off their balcony onto mine. Irritated, as I already had enough to do, I opened the balcony door to retrieve it and was immediately nonplused by a large insect on the greyish stone tile. Then, however, I recognized that it was a Monarch butterfly, but with its wings so folded up that from a certain angle it looked more like a grasshopper.

It had been a cold night, with a temperature below freezing, and I had felt it too, having spent a fitful night, alternating between being too hot and too cold. I therefore guessed the butterfly had folded its wings so tightly in an attempt to keep in what little heat its tiny body could generate, and perhaps to protect it’s delicate wings from the frigid air. I decided to air the place out, thus providing some warm air for the butterfly, and as I got on with my many chores, I periodically checked in to see how it was doing. As it got warmer, the wings began to come up a little, but the butterfly was very unsteady on its legs in the cool breeze that was blowing.

A while later, I saw its open wings flexing and then closing again. Still later, I saw it crawling awkwardly across the stones. When it reached the metal cover on the window washer’s anchor, which must have been very cold indeed, it tried to climb up on that, perhaps trying to get more height from which to launch itself, but it was getting nowhere, and probably getting chilled again as well. I was tempted to intervene, but unsure what to do and fearful of causing further harm, and so I directed compassion towards the butterfly and resumed my work.

Then I saw it fluttering weakly and irregularly towards a neighbour’s balcony. And so, finally I gently spread out my hands to corral it, and offered a hand for it to climb up onto, thinking perhaps I could warm it up enough for it to be able to fly properly. After crawling onto the offered hand, however, maybe it realized that this warm soft something was alive, and it quickly hopped back off again. But the second time it crawled onto the proffered hand, perhaps as whatever this something was hadn’t tried to eat it or otherwise harm it, it quickly located a comfortable perch. Soon it began flexing its wings quite vigorously, and within a few minutes took off and soared like a bird, flapping strongly and quickly away. And so, I said farewell and wished it a safe journey. As I had beheld it resting on my hand and afterwards I reflected upon its frame of reference in relation to this encounter, whether or not its acceptance of this assistance was an active act of trust, and how this timely intervention began with a carelessly flicked lit cigarette!

Entailed: Looking for Skillful Means

So often
I hear
The term,
“Skillful means,”

But
I am never sure
What that means
And often get lost

And so,
I’ve decided
To try
Imagining that I know,

That
I do possess
The knowledge
Or have access to it,

That
I can see
What is skillful
And what is not,

And then
To see where,
If anywhere,
That gets me.

That’s all
I can think of
To try
For now,

And then
I’ll see where,
If anywhere,
That gets me.

Enshroud: Lost and Found

On the way to the grocery store, thinking, felt “Lost,” and the following internal conversation ensued:

“Hello, Lost.”
“Hello.”
“How are you?”
“I’m Lost.”
“What does it feel like to be Lost?”
“Scary.”
“Would you like to be Found?”
“If I were Found, then I wouldn’t be Lost anymore, I’d be Found.”
“Okay. Found? Are you here?”
“Yes.”
“How does it feel to be Found?”
“It feels great!”
“Where is Lost?”
“I don’t know because I’m Found.”

“I’m not sure I need help now, what do you think?”

“I’m Not Sure?”
“Who is that?”
“I’m Not Sure, are you here?”
“Yes.”
“What does it feel like to be Not Sure?”
“It feels uncomfortable.”
“Comfortable?”
“Yes.”
“What’s it like to be Comfortable?”
“It feels good.”
“Good?”
“Yes.”
“What’s it like to be Good?”
“Happy.”
“Happy?”
“What’s that like? . . .”

And so on, and on
All the way there and back again!
My home is now.