Cake: Faith in my Doubt

Sailing on oceans of doubt,
Where do they lead,
These seemingly endless seas?
Words of comfort are what I need.

Words of encouragement
To the lost traveler,
Where will I find them?
I so pine for them.

I have no answers,
So I set my sail,
Tack into the wind,
And watch the albatross soaring overhead.

The sun is setting
And the waves are settling.
I wrap myself in my comforter
And eat my evening meal.

The colours of the dropping sun
Against the horizon
Cheer my heart,
And somehow I feel better for a time.

My mind unwinds,
And all my cares are
Carried away
Upon the swells.

The salt air scent
Fills my nostrils
And I sigh,
Drinking in the sights.

Seaweed floats by,
Dorsal fins break the water
As the dolphins circle and play
Around my tiny craft.
All is well.

Cage: Let me out!

To sit with uncertainty and doubt:
This seems to be my occupation these days.
What a job description,
I’m working on commission:
I only get paid if I get results.

But what results?
I’m up and down
So fast
It makes me dizzy.

I catch myself falling
To the bottom,
And ask what hit me.
What could it be?

Conditions, I surmise,
But which ones?
There are so many possibilities.
I watch one set of outcomes after another.

I always seem to miss the triggers,
And then get lost in the thicket
Of thoughts, feelings and tensions,
Until I’m crazy with distractions.

Then, I suddenly remember,
And ask what’s the matter.
It’s only phenomena arising,
Past traces with which I’m identifying.

Nevertheless, it’s the walls I’ve been climbing,
Like a vine twisting and winding,
Finding places to practice clinging,
Though surely I need no more of that,
For clearly I’m an expert already!

Cadence: Fits and Starts

Hanging on by my fingernails
But work is holding me up:
As long as I keep working
I keep going.

Lately I’ve been down in the mouth,
But resting in the dark
I remembered past meditations
That were wonderful.

I realized over the past few years
I’ve made some beautiful memories:
What’s happening now isn’t just about now,
It’s good or bad for later too.

Thus, if I pay attention to now
And attend to this moment,
I can make better tomorrows.
What do I want tomorrow to be like?

But then I sank into sadness again,
Thinking of the dark side of the past.
Just then, however, duty called
And work brought me up again.

My life’s raft
Is Pulled up and down
By the waves,
And they drag on for days.

To go up
One has to go down,
To go forward is
To rise and fall again.

I’m getting seasick now,
But I’ll get my sea legs yet,
And perhaps one day tell
Entertaining tales about
How arduous it all was.