Cage: Let me out!

To sit with uncertainty and doubt:
This seems to be my occupation these days.
What a job description,
I’m working on commission:
I only get paid if I get results.

But what results?
I’m up and down
So fast
It makes me dizzy.

I catch myself falling
To the bottom,
And ask what hit me.
What could it be?

Conditions, I surmise,
But which ones?
There are so many possibilities.
I watch one set of outcomes after another.

I always seem to miss the triggers,
And then get lost in the thicket
Of thoughts, feelings and tensions,
Until I’m crazy with distractions.

Then, I suddenly remember,
And ask what’s the matter.
It’s only phenomena arising,
Past traces with which I’m identifying.

Nevertheless, it’s the walls I’ve been climbing,
Like a vine twisting and winding,
Finding places to practice clinging,
Though surely I need no more of that,
For clearly I’m an expert already!