Bulging: Rough Seas

I thought I had the day
Well in hand,
But I had a phone call
That threw me out of my way.
Then I had an unproductive
Afternoon,
And soon the back pain
Returned again.

There’s always something
I want to push away,
Some inconvenience or irritation
From which I’d like to escape.
I get so tired from fighting
You’d think I’d give up,
But my resistance keeps coming
And it wears me right out.
Yet still I remain determined
To follow through to
The end of suffering.

When I find myself in doubt,
I try to move from
‘I can’t do this,
I will never be able to do this,
I’m trapped,
I’m stuck,
I’m doomed;’

To, ‘I’m not sure,’
To, ‘Maybe/perhaps I can,’
To, ‘I will try and see what happens,’
To, ‘This is what happens,
And I will explore the results with
An attitude of curiosity.’

‘This could be just a bad patch,’
I say, ‘Or it could be I’m doomed,
But either way, only could be, could be, could be.’