Camouflage: Instability

Restlessness in the morning;
It wakes me up,
And sends tremors
Through me.

It’s like an itch
That makes me pace
My mind race;
It’s a kind of dissatisfaction.

I long to move
But don’t know where to go.
Is there something going on?
Or is this just a habit?

I decided to stop,
Hold still for a moment,
In a standing posture,
But then my restlessness vanished.

There was only
Tiredness and fogginess,
And a desire to rest.
How can this be?
What is happening here?

And then I sat,
And there it was again:
That irritating prickle,
From which I shrink.

This too came and went,
And then there was
Just breath,
But this was not the end.

Insistent intrusive thoughts emerged,
Followed by absorption in rumination
On various aspects of my situation,
Until I surfaced once more for the last few minutes.

Calmly: Feelings

Pleasant feelings
Are so sweet,
But they don’t stay
They are so fleet of foot.

There’s no use mourning
Their imminent departure,
For then we miss out
On the rapture.

It’s best to be with them
While they’re present,
Like close friends
We enjoy them while we have them.

But the same can be said
For other emotions:
We can learn to make room for
And welcome all of them.

Even though we may find some unpleasant,
Others barely come to our attention:
We fail to notice them
Unless they grow in intensity.

Other feelings can be so extreme
They can bewilder,
Make us shudder and shiver,
But then suddenly disappear.

Emotions are as short-lived
As sunsets and sunrises;
Like chalk sidewalk paintings,
They are washed away when the rain arrives.

Pleasant feelings don’t last,
But luckily
Unpleasant ones don’t either; however,
You can’t have one kind without the other.

Calm: Peaceful Interlude

At the end of my tumultuous day
I sat in meditation for a while,
But I had trouble settling at first
Having sciatica pain aback both legs.

But then I realized after much fiddling
That the pain was the same
Whether standing or sitting,
So I might as well relax into the burning.

Thus, I directed the bulk of my attention
Away from the discomfort
And focused on my breathing,
With the result that my distress lessened.

Then much to my surprise
An amazing bliss arose
Before my tired eyes,
A remarkable joy, like a beautiful sunrise.

Memories arose at the edge of my consciousness
Of long ago boat rides on shining waters,
Golden sunsets against green hills,
And the rocky shores of the Muskoka lakes.

I knew this pleasure would be short-lived,
But determined to enjoy it nevertheless,
And I marveled once more
At how potent these fleeting feelings can be.

And as soon as I had settled in,
My bell then rang
To signal the end of this
Precious pause.

I sat a while longer anyway,
And arose only slowly from my place
To resume my activities,
But at a much gentler pace.