Bottomless: The Place that Mind Forgets

Thinking, thinking, thinking,
What a way to spend my time.
If I’m not thinking I’m planning,
Or rehearsing, or preparing.

After a while it becomes too much,
“Stop!” I say.
And I stop,
But then start up again
When I’m not looking.

Soon after I wake up,
The mind wants to flit about
Like a child at play;
It can be amusing to watch,
But it can be
Difficult to be mindful,
Amidst the every day.

I get lost in my musings,
Or lost in activity,
And sometimes consumed by
Both simultaneously.

I forget what I’m doing
In the middle of a task,
Or lose track of
Where I’m going,
Or what I’m after when I get there.

This mindfulness business is tricky
There’s no doubt about it.
Just when I’m sure I’ve found it,
I realize I’ve misplaced it,
Or overlooked what else is happening.

Bonus: Metta Adventure

Last night when I was in bed preparing for sleep, at which time lately I often find myself spontaneously breaking into Loving-Kindness meditation, I noticed a most amazing thing. I started thinking about all the beings everywhere: in the ocean, on the land, in the earth, and the air. I imagined whales and fishes, eels and crustaceans, mollusks, seals and dolphins, elephants and crocodiles, lions, tigers, leopards, and cats of all kinds, wolves and dogs, herds of various grazing animals, rodents, marsupials, bats, birds of all kinds, worms and grubs, insects, and many more.

Then suddenly, all boundaries between living things dropped away, and then it seemed as if it was not “I” wishing myself loving-kindness, wellness, happiness, peace, but it was as if everything was wishing itself loving-kindness, wellness, happiness and peace. There was this feeling of being part of everything, and everything being part of me, and yet there was no me, or at least, no separate me.

I don’t know when I’ve felt happier, and I slept well that night for the first time in quite a while. I gather from my reading that this sort of experience is not unusual for people who continue with these kinds of practices. Thus, if you are looking for a sleeping pill, but prefer to avoid medication, you might want to try this some time. It did seem to require some practice, as I had been doing it every night for at least a week before I had this experience, but the only “side effects” I have experienced are a feeling of well being and the development of a more kindly attitude towards oneself and others.

Bolster: Practice, Practice, Practice

It is truly remarkable what a difference it makes when one simply sits with whatever is present and faces it, with an attitude of kindly interest.

For example, yesterday, in my meditation, I had a direct encounter with panic and the anguish associated with it. When I suffer from such intense feelings, I sometimes think I can’t possibly stand it, and feel as if it will never go away. This time, perhaps because it happened during my meditation, I noticed how quickly it actually disappeared when I just sat with it and left it alone.

A similar thing happened today. As there is a major snowstorm coming, there has been a radical shift in the weather, from high to low pressure, and cold to warm, I have developed a severe migraine headache. (This too probably accounts for the panic yesterday, as I often experience intense feelings of all sorts prior to one of these migraine attacks.)

From past experience, I have learned that the best thing for me to do is to relax right into the headache instead of resisting it. Then I do loving-kindness practice towards the headache. The effect is amazing. When I do these two things, a major easing of the pain occurs, making it much less unpleasant. I’m not sure I got the idea; I just tried it one day and it worked, and it still does.

Closely observing what is happening but not getting involved in it provides an opportunity to determine what can be tried to make a positive difference. Of course this takes practice and trial-and-error. I still get caught up in what’s happening quite often and suffer the consequences. At the same time, however, this reminds me of the benefits of practicing the opposite.