Circle: Back to Back

When I signed up for the meditation course for the first time, I knew that, in a way I was reaching out from my ‘mountain hermitage,’ like a wounded bear that had retreated to the den to recover. I am not sure what I wanted or expected, but that teacher sure shook the mountain. Nevertheless, after careful consideration, I decided to come back for a second round, and I was not disappointed. This sort of thing may not be for everyone, however, so I caution my readers—take care, before you embark on this journey.

Be sure you have your safety straps well fastened before you go. I had few moorings to hold me, and I practically fell off the mountain myself, but I still think the time was right; I’d waited as long as I could, and best of all felt as if I had no place else to go, which is the only reason I can think of why I would have gotten into this. For, as I explained in the first place—I was merely looking for a way to get through the day without screaming. Now I think screaming can be good sometimes; it can even be productive, if you are paying attention, and even if you’re not. That is the paradox of practice.

Chiefly: Together*

Mindfulness of breathing
Carried over into my
Next activity:
Cooking supper.

As I prepared the meal
The rhythm of breathing
And activities
Moved together.

I could not tell how,
Or whether one
Regulated the other,
But they just synchronized.

This rhythm felt natural
And comfortable,
And as I continued to watch,
Actions matched breathing’s pace.

All movements flowed together:
Those of breathing,
And those of meal preparation,
In a Graceful,
Seamless,
Inseparable process.


*Today’s entry is the last one UNTIL May, as tomorrow I start an insight meditation course, and I really want to focus on that.

Thanks for reading!

Lee

Chatter: Plan Mode

Too much restlessness
Was how my meditation started;
At last I lay down
And gave up.

Later when I tried again
Surprise!
Calm returned, that is,
Until the planning began.

It’s remarkable
How often
I accomplish little
All day,

And then when I sit,
Suddenly,
There’s my to do list
Right before me.

One day I shall
Get this organized
So that my plans
Emerge when I’m available,

Or maybe that’s the trouble:
That my mediation
Makes me more accessible
And then the internal memos appear,

All at once
Everything suppressed
Arises,
And my tasks multiply,

Like carpet beetle eggs,
They hatch all over
When I forget to vacuum
For too long a time.