Cede: Mostly Under Water

Another rugged mediation,
Another silly recitation,
It’s really only reiteration
And yet, everything changes,

Or so I’ve heard,
Like the call of some mysterious bird,
Which normally I would call absurd,
And then the unsolved thought flies away.

And so, onward the dharma warrior went,
Even though all tears were spent,
And all rages already rent the pillows
And punched the wall.

If I had halls I’d deck them too,
But not with decorations,
I’d just deck them
And watch them fall!

It’s no fun either
But it’s reruns anyway,
Or so I noted.
‘I’ve seen this one before,

And that one too!’
And each time I recognized
One of these abysmal patterns
Strolling through, I laughed.

‘I know you!
I’ve done this before,
Haven’t I!’
I giggled madly.

It’s crazy me again,
But in the opposite way,
Previously I was mad happily,
But now I’m miserably so,
Where to now? —I do not know.

Ceaseless: Continuous Exertion

Mind full of hesitation,
I dreaded this day’s meditation,
Because of doubts about my destination,
Arising from constrictions in my situation.

Feeling thwarted over an opportunity aborted,
I resorted to procrastination and rumination,
My doubts about my future path
Delaying many decisions.

So deeply penetrated this arrow incision
That all my actions lacked precision,
Feeling put down and fearing further depreciation,
I withdrew to consider my position.

When finally I sat, the struggle was on
As emotions erupted and bubbled,
No easy way through
This tumultuous session,

Which finally I could only take
Lying down, but even then,
Mind chatter clattered,
Battered and spattered.

Insistent, noisy thoughts
Threatened to overwhelm
In spots,
With few breaks in between.

Finally, a negative evaluation surfaced
And I thought, ‘no wonder I was reluctant;
If this is the reception;
The last thing I need is more rejection!’

But I refused to heed these careless thoughts,
Otherwise they'd have sabotaged my practice,
My principal anchor amidst this ruckus;
Instead I counteracted this reaction
By softening my gaze towards this dissatisfaction.

Cavalcade: Tracking

My meditation began
With, ‘Every breath is
My first breath,’
And powerful images arose,

Memories of stories of
The occasion of my birth,
When I took my first breath,
Imagine that!

Upon that I did reflect,
And then sadness emerged,
About all the breaths
I have missed.

There have been so many
Lost breaths
When I was not present,
Forgotten inhalations and exhalations.

But how sentimental
And how foolish,
Getting drawn into such reflections,
Only to miss out on now too!

I do it anyway, however,
All the time;
It’s such a habit,
To grab at it,

And the thing to do,
The action to take,
Is simply to notice
And investigate.

What intensity!
What strength!
How awesome,
How often such thoughts
Pull the mind off track.