Exertion: Sideways Motion

Coming into conflict
With competing aspirations:
One to rest,
The other to practice mindfulness;

Wanting to enjoy
What I have,
Rather than striving
To develop my skillfulness;

On the one hand,
Needing solid goals,
On the other,
Tiring of the effort.

Is there a balance,
An in between compromise?
Or do I flip back and forth
And, is so, will I ever land?

Is there no solid ground,
No common ground either?
Can these two
Work together somehow?

Is there a way to
Resolve this contradiction?
Or only an endless play
To and fro to the horizon;

Will I ever know?
Or is there simply no end
To this side to side motion,
No finish to these conditions;

Where else can I look?
Or is this merely a waste of time,
A vibration within a vibration,
A pattern within a pattern.