Espy: Looking at Looking

Dead ending
After much thought,
Not sure where I’m at
Or where I ought to be,

Looking outward,
Looking inward,
Seeing no difference
Or seeing darkness all around,

One minute
Caught up in fantasy,
Next minute
Very realistic,

Looking ahead
And looking behind,
Not seeing much
Through the decades of grime,

Washing the mirror
And looking again,
Seeing the reflection
But not recognizing it,

Can’t believe it
And yet I can,
How did I get here?
Maybe a stupid question,

Making a snack
And getting ready for bed,
Thinking about thinking
Then forgetting it instead,

Up in the wee hours,
Is not good for me,
Delays my morning
And does not make me free.