Body: From Reaction to Responsiveness

On the topic of working with physical pain: something is changing.

When I first started, my reaction/response was dictated by my aversion to the pain I feel.

Gradually, very gradually, however, perhaps due to practice and application of loving-kindness and mindfulness, I am finding that pain is being stripped of the extra reactions, such as, “oh no, not again!” And “I don’t want this,” etc.

In its place is simply, “how can I respond to this, in the most effective and kindly way?”

Then I make adjustments as needed, or simply try to take an open gentle attitude towards this complex sensation, to be with it.

Then I can also investigate it, and sort out what it is I actually feel.

Interestingly, I often find that when I do examine it, it’s not what I ‘thought’ it was, and sometimes I even have trouble finding it. It then becomes just sensation, and is not so difficult to deal with.

Nevertheless, there are still many times when an unexpected pain arises that I react or worry, as in “what now?” Or, “this isn’t supposed to happen.” And then, there are other times when it’s just really difficult.

I am not yet ready to go without pain medication by any means, but it appears that there has been some progress. It is an ongoing process, never ending I imagine, for as long there is this body.