Deferment: Unproductive

Went to sleep to
Letting go
But woke up to clinging
And frustration,

More brooding on
The current situation
And trouble decision-making
On what steps need to be taken;

Tried counting the breathing,
But could not stay with that even,
Caught up in confusion
Punctuated by irritation,

Not seeing much use
In anything
And rolling up and down
In wave after wave of disbelieving,

Wasting time wondering
How what is could be,
Instead of seeking
Some ease in what is,

Feeling foolish in retrospect,
But not finding a solution
To this repetitive outpouring of emotion,
A dull and pointless occupation,

And the mistake repeats!
Why can’t I learn from this
And move on
To something more productive?

What is it about this ruminating
That is so seductive and addictive?
Could it be because there’s such energy in it?
If only I could harness that!

Deference: Acceding to the Flow

Difficult meditation,
Couldn’t seem to focus
Having lost my motivation,
Reluctant to see what was happening,

Tried counting breaths
And for an interval succeeded,
Then drifted off into oblivion
Subsequently finding what was needed,

The mind redirected
To a new object of attention:
The sounds in the room
As they wavered up and down;

I noticed the hum
Of the heating system,
How it varied,
Wave after wave,

Then there were the cycling sounds
Of the refrigerator,
As it regulated
Its internal temperature,

The siren of a fire engine
Passing on the street outside
Punctuated the ensemble,
Rising and fading amidst the machine rumbles,

In addition there was the hissing
Of the gas fire
In my host’s front room,
(Where this group meditation took place),

And finally there were
The sounds of joints crackling
From the minor movements of sitters’ bodies
Seeking more comfortable positions
During this forty-five minute long session.

Defensible: A Safe Pause

Hot herb tea
On a cold day,
A simple way
To bring ease
To a worn out body and mind;

Hot water
Melts away the chill
And fragrant spices and herbs
Envelop the senses,
Soothing and invigorating;

A gentle flavour
And time to savour it,
Relaxing with some audioplays
While sipping slowly away
At the end of a busy day;

Tis the best of times,
Stirring memories of past teas,
Connecting one mug
To the previous one
And this one to the next;

Mining deeply
The dark hot brew,
Dropping slowly down
Into a peaceful quiet,
A break from life’s incessant riot;

Listening to the sounds around,
Glorying in the leisure
Whose transience only
Makes it more precious,
And the tea extra delicious;

Finding moments within moments
Of delightful repose,
Laughing admiringly at the snow
As I watch it fall and blow outside my window.